The Power of Listening to Dyslexic Children by the author of Meet the Dyslexia Club! by Margaret Rooke
I recently connected with Margaret Rooke and wanted to share the news about her recent book as this feels like such an important book. There are lots of books around that talk about how to help the professionals understand more but we also need to listen to the learner and this book helps learners directly communicate how they need help. It’s a book aimed at primary school students and Margaret has created characters who talk about their strengths and their difficulties and how they want to be taught and listened to. This book is designed to as a way of helping children feel less alone and has bright and cheery illustrations.
Margaret told me that she feels children and teenagers with dyslexia are part of an educational system that magnifies what they aren’t good at and fails to play to their strengths.
Meanwhile, dyslexic advantages from entrepreneurial ability to 3D thinking to problem solving and design are all at the very sidelines of the curriculum. They are certainly not seen as central for advancement in most schools.
Margaret said, “Life can feel harsh when you’re spending such a large proportion of your life watching others seeming to float through the system with ease. It’s too easy for a child to respond to this with anger, fighting or joking around to distract themselves from difficult feelings. Or to get depressed. Or to play truant.”
“This is where listening comes in. Children and teens in this situation need to be listened to at home and school, in order to feel understood and valued by others, and to value themselves. This helps to lessen shame and allows them to re-gain precious levels of confidence.”
She said “I’ve been listening to children, teens and adults with dyslexia for my books over the past ten years. One of the messages that they’ve given me that stands out is that they need someone on their side. In the case of young people this must be an adult who gives them a message that’s different from what they’re taking in about themselves at school; a message that re-assures them that they’re clever and strong and can follow their dreams, no matter what label they have been given. That strong relationship with an adult is vital.”
“As my new book for primary children Meet the Dyslexia Club! Shows, children can explain to teachers how best they want to be taught. They can explain to parents and carers what helps them follow instructions at home. Children know all of this, inside themselves. They know what works for them, and they need to be given the opportunity to share this information with an adult in an unpressurised setting.”
“What children with dyslexia receive very often, instead of quality listening, is feedback about their work. When this feedback is negative, this only adds to the other negatives they already feel about themselves and their lives, adding to their stress and defensiveness.”
I agree with Margaret, we should try and ensure feedback is positive and constructive and we don’t necessarily have to pick up on every spelling mistake or punctuation error. We should always give positive feedback for writing a sentence for example and congratulate them on the tricky spellings or sounds they have spelled correctly, even if it’s not the whole word.
“The foreword to Meet the Dyslexia Club! was written by Róisín Lowe, who was a teenager with dyslexia when she told her story in one of my previous books Dyslexia is My Superpower (Most of the Time). She is now a primary school teacher. In the foreword, she explains how she gives feedback in a way that children can hear it; positive feedback as well as negative, making sure the negative is delivered in quantities that don’t overwhelm.”
“Good listening also comes from the other direction, the children to us. For all of us, listening is a skill we can perfect. So often we can find ourselves not meeting the standards we set ourselves. Instead of giving all of our attention to what someone is saying, we can be distracted, multi-tasking or filled with our own thoughts. We can feel impatient or frustrated if the person talking to us is being repetitive or doesn’t understand an issue, bringing the focus away from their wellbeing onto our own.”
“We can think we know what someone is about to say, imposing our own belief system on what we imagine we’re going to hear. We can rehearse the response we think will work best while someone else is still talking, so we are not in fact listening but waiting for someone to stop speaking. A very different behaviour.”
“If we find ourselves doing any of the above, tuning out or interrupting, we can stop ourselves, apologise and return to listening well, staying curious and asking questions that will help you both.”
I feel this is great advice, too often we assume what people’s answers will be. By listening we can really find out more about what might be the underlying reason an individual is struggling to focus for example. Also asking the right open ended questions can be useful. Although, first you need to build that relationship with the individual and show empathy, to ensure any learner feels comfortable to discuss their difficulties and feel able to advocate for themselves. I think they also need to see action, if the learner has taken the time to confide in you or advocate their needs, please where possible make that change or explain why not if it can’t be met.
Margaret summarises this beautifully, “When we listen well, we gain crucial insights about the children in our care, whether that’s at home or at work. They’ll be more likely to feel relaxed and non-defensive, and open up about their feelings and their weaknesses, and to co-operate with us. They’ll be more aware of their strengths and more prepared to consider other points of view as well as their own. Research on listening has proved this. Feedback from us to them by itself is not enough.”
Margaret continued, “I’ve used my books to show how much children and teens know about themselves and their strengths. They know they face hurdles, but they also know there are ways to open their doors to a successful future. They especially know this when they’re given time to think about their attributes. So much of what we can learn about providing the best help for children and teens with dyslexia can come from the students themselves. Meanwhile they, on reading books about other young people, will learn about themselves and learn they are not alone in their struggles and difficulties.”
“It’s a win/win.”
Margaret Rooke is an author of books to inspire and encourage children and teens. If you work with children or you’re a parent/carer of a child with SEN this is a great book, here’s where you can get it.
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Meet-Dyslexia-Club-Strengths-Neurodiverse/dp/1839978430 (£10.99)
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Dyslexia-My-Superpower-Most-Time/dp/1785922998 (£13.99)
